Monday, December 28, 2009

10 pts to best answer! I need your best and most honest advice?

We connected instantly. We technically have been just friends but everyone thought we were bf and gf. I would ignore him sometimes when we'd see each other because I was so nervous. We went about 8 months without talking and then reconnected. He asked me to go on vacation with all married/engaged couples and we were perfect.

The issue is, we would have a great time, he would let down his guard a bit, and then kinda go away and I would, too cuz I would be confused. One night he asked me what I want, in terms of me and him. I was silent and didn't answer. I was scared! 2 weeks later he told me he would never be my boyfriend.

I tried to stay in his life as a friend but eventually I said we couldn't talk anymore cuz the confusion was crazy because everytime we're together it seems like we're dating. 2 weeks after that he said he wanted me to be his girlfriend. Then he got freaked out and said he couldn't do it.

As we would reconnect, he would ask me to go to events, yet sometimes, he would hint to hanging out but would rarely ask. And I wouldn't ask either cuz I wasn't sure if he wanted to. He still lives with his parents at 26 and is not happy about it and mentioned that he has no money, but he is in school for business. I wrote him a note saying that I loved him and had to tell him. He said that he can't be my ';boyfriend'; at this point, but I have been his ';sun on rainy days.';

Now, my number has changed and he doesn't know it. The hard part is that we are so great together. We challenge one another, respect and admire, and have so many similar interests, yet it seems like 2 walls are up and I end up sad/confused. My heart says to be patient and that we are soul mates/meant to be. My heart says that he loves me - from all of the little things: brushing the hair out of my face, telling me how beautiful I am, showing concern for my life, happiness and family, giving advice, and etc.

Will time tell?10 pts to best answer! I need your best and most honest advice?
The underlying issue here is communication. In my opinion more so for you than for him. What it sounds like to me is that he does truly care for you, and from the way you describe the previous encounters you've had with one another you both seem like a great match. This is just an educated guess, but I think his reluctance comes solely from his current situation in life i.e. living with parents, still in school, no money, etc. To a guy, being able to support the one he loves in every aspect of what a normal couple should be is where I believe his issues are. I feel this is why he says I can't be your boyfriend. I feel you need to be more communicative, he has to know how you feel and vice versa. The foundation of any relationship is communication, without it, a relationship doesn't stand a chance. I think you should make an effort to keep in touch as well as tell him how you truly feel. I truly don't think his past rejections have been because of you, I truly think it is a ';him thing';. Either way, you need to keep the lines of communication completely open. Good Luck!10 pts to best answer! I need your best and most honest advice?
Seems like he wants to get his life in order before he gets in a serious relationship: moves out, finishes school, gets a job, etc. If nothing else, sometimes friends with a deep connection are just friends.
do you think that suicide is a good thing? no its not you need to stop thinking about comminting suicide and think about the good things in life!
Yes, time will only tell it seems like you both don't know what you want.
Sure as heck sounds like you guys should just give up the fight and be together. I don't know what he is doing, almost sounds like he is scared to be hurt or scared hes falling for you way to fast. I would just be patient and wait it out...let him know you want to be with him, and you are willing to wait until hes ready.

That's a hard situation. But time will tell is right...
sounds just a tad confusing.

imm gonna saayyy thhat you should send him an email or something rather and ask him if you guys will ever end up together without the confusion. ask him what the hell he's doing. lol tell him youre confused as to wheer its going. also next time youre with him just act like youre friends, not like youre dating. if he asks about it just say that if youre not going to date then youre not going to act like you are.

hooppefully this helps a little.

good luck. =)
Girl make your thoughts known to him once and for all. Dont play games just be blunt. If he says no, then girl go on with your life. Maybe in future he will realise you guys are meant to be and then if you are single something can happen. I dont advise u to pressure him into a r/ship if he is not ready. You cant force him and dont cos u will regret it. Just get all this load off your chest and see what he decides. If he cant give u what you want.... then you will know in your heart that u tried your best and then babe... move on! Life is to short. GL

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