Thursday, December 31, 2009

I can't stand my best friend anymore. Any advice?

We have been friends for six years. We have had such good times in the past, but ever since my divorce she has been very unpleasant to be around. She was friends with my ex-husband who has gender identity disorder, biopolar, and generalized anxiety, so she thought it was terrible when I left him. The last year of my marriage, I was so lonely that I had a emotional internet affair with a younger man. I became very close with the man and developed a very strong bond with him. After my divorce, I met him in person. To make a long story short, we fell in love and he moved across the country to be with me. Well my ';best friend'; was so incredibly jealous, she couldn't stand to see me happy. You see she is 35 years old and has never been married and can never keep a relationship for very long because she has so many issues. Anyway, every time I see her now, she's so rude and negative. She gets mad that I don't spend as much time with her now. She demands that I call her and write her, and if I don't she gets pissed off. My boyfriend works nights and only has two days off a week where we can be together. I want to be with him on these days and she can't understand that. She says she's felt left out ever since he's come to live here. However, I still see her a couple of times a month and we do girl's nights out, so I don't understand why she thinks I'm leaving her out. But whenever we hang out, she ends up pissing me off somehow. She always has to have her way and she will never make definite plans. Sometimes she flakes out on me. Like last week she asked if my boyfriend and I would like to see a movie with her and her other guy friend. She demanded we go to a theater all the way across town, and then cancelled as we were driving there saying that something else came up. I'm getting really tired of her behavior. She's mean and nasty to me and I don't know what to do. I've had good times with her in the past so I don't really want to end the whole friendship, but I don't enjoy spending time with her anymore. Any advice?I can't stand my best friend anymore. Any advice?
Sounds like it may be time to move on. Friendships, like all relationships, can sometimes come to an end. Sure you've had a good run but it may be time to take the memories and leave - it doesn't mean your friendship wasn't worthwhile, it may just mean it has run its course and it's time to explore new relationships. The fact that your friend isn't happy for you and seems to make inconveniences in your life show that you've grown apart and that the relationship is perhaps unhappy.

If you're absolutely determined to try to keep what is left of the relationship alive, although i advise against doing so, you absolutely must confront her about what she dos that angers you before everything goes up in smoke - it's better to keep the good memories and ending things on a good note rather than have everything me, thats coming from experience!

Good luck!I can't stand my best friend anymore. Any advice?
Just as you couldn't repair the past with your husband, you can't repair this friendship. You deserve a friendship that is open with someone with whom you can be yourself: not someone undependable and shallow.
tell her what shes doing and that you dont like it and that you need some space because you cant hang around her for nwo for the way shes acting
Sounds like your trying and she wants you when your not around. She needs to deal with the fact that your beating her in the love catagorie and not be so competative. I think shes trying to sabatoge you.
if its that bad; stop hanging out with her. She's going to make your life hell so just see hows life without her. You'll probably enjoy the less stress
Get a REAL friend. need to let it go and move on.

She'll apologize for anything when the times get easier.

All is can say is a best friend would want to see you happy even thought it makes them sad.
I've been friends with my bff for about 4 years now, realizing it now I guess I'm kind of like your friend. But you see, unlike her I don't get jealous even if every guy likes her. She needs to get help, she needs to talk to someone, because obviously she needs a friend to help her solve with these jealousy problems. This is the time she needs you the most. Nobody wants to be 40 and single, especially a woman. I can see it her point of view, can you? I also understand you want to be with him, but realize that one night wouldn't kill you to just chill. You will have him for the rest of your life, your friendship with her has been longer. You will always need friends in life and she pisses you off, calm down. Try to think that it wasn't her intention, she just need attention.

definitely not reading all of that but if you have a valid reason not to just start to drift away from her, don't start any rumors because since this was your best friend they will spread rumors or tell some of your secrets and people WILL believe them since they were your best friend, just end it on a good note.. still smile and say hi but just keep it at that

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