Monday, December 21, 2009

My Best Friend's Wedding...advice?

My best friend was treated horribly by her stepmother, who eventually kicked her out and made her homeless.





In a strange turn of events, my bff turns her life around, attends college, and is now marrying the man of her dreams.





I do not like her stepmother because she has done things to me too (slandered my name / has tried to fight me...this is separate from and has nothing to do with my bff...she's just jealous because me, my friend and our group of girlfriends turned out great while her birth children are in jail/dead/ criminals....)





But my best friend forgives her stepmom (because she believes in 'forgiving + forgetting').





Stepmom does not want me there at wedding.





So now, the best friend is dis-inviting me...in her words, because the stepmom is family.





Do I have a right to feel wronged?My Best Friend's Wedding...advice?
There might be more to the story than you know. Try contacting your friend and make plans for lunch. Discuss the matter and ask her to be honest and upfront with you. It sounds like your friendship is in jeopardy and her wedding could be the end of something solid. Describe how hurt you are. Perhaps your friend is so absorbed with the stepmom that she doesn;t realize what she did to you.





Good luck!My Best Friend's Wedding...advice?
Yes you have a right to be enraged, angry, sad, etc. But it is entirely their loss.. Move on and find faithful friends. At least you learned this about your best friend before many more years passed by
Yes. If you've treated her better than her stepmother. She isn't really even family. But is it worth killing the friendship over???? Cause if you push it, you are going to hit some serious static.
Yes. You were there for your friend while she was homeless and needed someone to make her feel loved. Her step mom is being very childish. But all in all it is your friends wedding and it is her decision who attends and who doesn't.
thas not right. dis-invite her as a BFF!





cuz real friend wouldnt do that.
Family first. Obviously it meant a great deal to her after all to have her stepmom there. There are times one grows up, and realizes things are different once you are an adult.
Uh, Huh?! She dis-invited you because her step mother is doesn't like you. WOW! I must say that your friend has to be either very afraid of her step mother or just doesn't care if she hurts you. I would never allow anyone who has treated me poorly in the past dictate who can or can not come to my wedding. If I were you, I'd try to reason with your best friend and let her know that you don't' want anything to do with her step mom and that you'll even avoid her at all cost, but that you want to be there to share with her on her special day. If she still wont let you come, drop it and just move on. This will wind up biting your best friend in the *** and sometimes you just have to let things like this go. I'm really sorry though, because that's really crappy.
I understand and sympathize with your feelings. This sounds like a pretty serious betrayal. Try to consider that weddings are really more about the parents than the couple, about two extended families coming together to bless the new family member, not about the couple's own circle of friends. Also I'm wondering what sort of pressure was put on the bride here. Was there some sort of blackmail or bullying going on?
yes. very much so.
shes not much of a friend is she?





id be mad but would get over it quickly and be done with the friendship.
That's bull. If I didn't think you were too nice to do this, I would say crash the wedding. First off, it's just wrong to disinvite ANYONE. Second, you don't just choose like that. They say you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. Your bff is making a bad decision. I would tell her how you feel!!
wow..what kind of bff is that?! that is so WRONG of her to do that to you, if she was really your bff she wouldn't hurt you like that..i would just let her do what she has to do %26amp; move on..you don't deserve those kind of ppl in your life..hope this helps ;)
Yes you do! Its her wedding, and she should be allowed to have the people she loves there on her special day. She should explain that to her stepmom, and really, she should just tell her that she wants both of you there. Her stepmom should be able to respect that.
That would hurt me so much. I don't think it's very fair on your friend's part. I believe in forgiving and forgetting too, but if it were me, I would not also forget the friend that cared for me when I needed her. I would sit down with your friend and ask her if this is what she really wants. Ask her calmly, and don't make her feel judged. it's my guess that she was pressured into that decision and if you approach her in a angry way, she'll just get defensive. Ask her why she feels this is the right thing to do, and years from now when she looks back on her wedding day, would she be sad that you weren't standing there beside her, like you always have been? Listen to her with an open heart, and good luck!
What a horrible story! Yes, you have every right to feel wronged. The worst part is that you were with her through all the horrible times and then when things are good she tosses you aside. I am so sorry.
Yes, I'd be pissed.





My step mother is a wench and a half, I'd forgive and forget one day, but I'd never call her family and I'd never choose her over someone who's stood by me.
Forget and forgive your best friend.Many unpleasant things happen in life.Learn to take all things in your stride..This will give you a satisfaction of faving done a right thing. your friend may one day repent her attitude towards you. This is a good lesson to learn in life.
That's awful. Is she any under pressure because the step-mom is helping pay for it? I'm not sure about how good of friends you guys are, but if you still think it's a friendship worth maintaining, see if you can talk to you and see if there's something stressing her out about her wedding that's keeping her from putting up a fight with her step-mom.
absolutely! your friend should have told her stepmom that you are her best friend and it wouldnt be right i fyou werent there. you are her best friend, you should be a bridesmaid or maid of honer! her stepmom has no right to not let you be there!
She is not a real BFF. Dis her
Absolutely! You were there for your best friend when her stepmom wasn't. I know a lot of people would say it is your friends wedding and she has a right to decide who she does and does not invite, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't feel hurt.


If your friend can forgive and forget, why can't she ask the same thing of her stepmom? Why can't her stepmom forgive and forget what has happened in the past between the two of you? At least for one day...


I would be extremely hurt...I would definitely let her know how I was feeling whether it be in person, on the phone or in a letter...might not change the circumstances, but it might make you feel a lot better.
Oh my God. That's horrible. What's with your best friend? Yes, you should feel crushed. But you know what----what goes around comes around. Your best friend made her bed, now let her sleep in it. I don't think I would ever talk to her again.

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